Over the next few posts, I hope to write about various aspects of Christian hospitality and give a few simple challenges to further motivate you (and myself!) in this area. Today I want to address some of the most common excuses we give for why we cannot invite people into our homes.
Excuse #1: I don't have enough space.
Honestly, this is probably the worst excuse you can give. You may not have a few thousand (or even a couple hundred!) square feet. You may not even own a home, but you do have space somewhere! Do you have a common area in your college dorm? Do you have a porch off your tiny apartment? Do you have a living room chair or a kitchen table? Do you have a yard? Let's stop waiting to have Pinterest perfect mansions, and instead focus on using the space we have now for welcoming others, no matter how small or simple it may seem.
I'm always convicted when I think of how many Ugandans welcomed me into their homes. Rarely was there an actual couch. Usually there wasn't even enough indoor space. Often we would all gather outside in the red clay dirt of their yard. As the guest I was usually offered a straw mat or a rickety chair. It was incredibly humble by American standards, but their heart was always to welcome and I loved them for it! We usually didn't have long chats, but their goal, no matter how short of an interaction, was to honor the visitor. The Ugandans I knew modeled for me using their space, no matter how big or small, to show hospitality.
"Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares." Hebrews 13:2 (ESV)
Excuse #2: I don't feel like it.
Are we commanded to share the Gospel? Are we commanded to welcome and care for other believers? Are we commanded to care for widows and orphans? Let's stop giving excuses and start obeying the Lord. I think those of us in the West give far too much attention to our personalities or feelings at the expense of obedience. Our homes are not our own. They do provide much needed rest and recovery from hard work (especially for us introverts!), but they are still to be yielded to the Lord. Our emotions should not gauge how obedient we will be to the commands of Scripture to show hospitality.
One major sacrifice made for our own family happened when our adoption process was being continually delayed. We gave up our own rental home to move to a large city to get medical care for our preemie newborn. Two months later, our adoption process still wasn't finished for our oldest child, and we had to move back to our small town. Our dear friends, Matt and Kayla invited us to come live in their guest house. I was shocked and didn't want to accept such radical help. We had no other options though and a hotel would be incredibly expensive long-term. So we made the move, thinking it would only be two months. Our stay ended up being six months!! I struggled so much feeling like a burden, but they never made us feel anything but welcomed! It was amazing. I'm sure it wasn't easy for them, bu their sacrificial love daily encouraged us. Ultimately it pointed us to Christ during one of the most challenging seasons of our life.
"Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality." Romans 12:13 (ESV)
Excuse #3: I don't have the money.
This excuse often stems from our confusing hospitality with entertainment. I would offer that for the Christians, they are different! Our chief goal as Christians is not entertainment. Our desires should not be for someone to focus on our curtains, our perfect place settings, or our spotless home. Our desires should be to point others to Christ and bring glory to His name. That can be done with a simple glass of water. It can also be done with beautiful curtains and a fancy five-course meal. Fancy or simple though, our aim is to glorify God and love others, NOT to put on a show.
To the best of my memory, the first woman outside of my immediate family to ever show hospitality to me was a mentally handicapped Muslim woman in France. She welcomed me and another female missionary into her home with mint tea and hard candies. That was it. By the world's standards, it was incredibly simple, but that was more than enough to make us feel loved and welcomed. We had a wonderful time discussing the Gospel, and she enjoyed having us try on her hijab. Sadly, I didn't keep in touch, but her afternoon of kindness motivated me as a Christian to bring hospitality to the forefront of my life. How much more hope and joy do I have to share with others through the love of Jesus Christ? Christians should not sacrifice the truth of the Gospel, but we should be know worldwide for our live and warm welcome of others in the name of Jesus.
"Let a widow be enrolled if she is not less than sixty years of age, having been the wife of one husband, and having a reputation for good works: if she has brought up children, has shown hospitality, has washed the feet of the saints, has cared for the afflicted, and has devoted herself to every good work." I Timothy 5:9-10 (ESV)
Excuse #4: I don't have time.
This is probably my most challenging excuse personally. If you are a wife and mother, the tasks that demand your time can indeed be extensive. It's easy to get overwhelmed by the logistics of normal life and feel like you should have to worry about those outside your immediate family or close friend group. Even as I write these words, this has been my own struggle this week. I wrongly think to myself, "I am already busy with my husband, kiddos, church, work, household management, and my close friends. I don't need anything or anyone else on my plate now!" But, this is the wrong way to think of those around us. There is indeed a practical limit to our time and days. We have 24 hours in a day and some days, those hours are filled to the brim. BUT for most of us, aren't there many wasted minutes in our days (or nights) filled with skimming Facebook, watching Netflix, or doing other hobbies of non-eternal value? It stings a bit, but most of us know it's true. What if instead of thinking more about our own free time or leisure, we thought about that struggling new mom on campus or that lonely visitor at church? Dear sisters, our time is not our own to spend on whatever whim or desire we have. Even our time on this earth is to stewarded and yielded for the glory of God. I think all too often we say we are too busy for others when in fact there are still pockets of time in our lives where we could chose to die to ourselves and love someone else.
One of my dearest friends did this regularly for me when I lived in Uganda. Dianna (pictured below!) is a wife and mom of nine children!! When I first heard that her family moved to my small town, I was so excited to meet her. I'm kind of obsessed with large family moms and learning about how they do life. I was a single mom of one at the time and really just wanted to sit at her feet and learn from her. I invited her whole family over one day for lunch and the rest was history. She warmly welcomed me into her home multiple days a week for two solid years!! Usually our time together was afternoons, dinner/evenings, or Sundays. Her time was indeed limited, but she gave freely to me of what was left. She walked with me through single motherhood, courtship, marriage, adoption, pregnancy, miscarriage and just basic learning about life as a godly woman. I know it wasn't always easy for her, and I'm sure there were days when she just wanted to lay on the couch (sometimes we did that together while we chatted about life!), but she gave me her time, and I am so incredibly thankful. To this day, I can hardly put into words the impact time with her has had on my life.
"Show hospitality to one another without grumbling." I Peter 4:9 (ESV)
So my sisters, I leave you with this challenge, think of just one woman you could invite into your home this week. It could be for dinner, tea, a play date, or a time of prayer. Don't think about your space, feelings, money, or time. Ask the Lord to enable you to obey Scripture and invite her into your home. Praying for you all!
By Lexi Zuo
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