Love Waits, and Its Full Extent

 by Jen Jacobs

In this week’s small group, we covered Chapter 5, Love Waits, and Chapter 6, Love’s Full Extent.  We packed a lot of information into this week’s group, but it was great to hear how much every group member is gleaning from this book.

Chapter 5 focuses on love being patient (1 Cor. 13:4).  A good synonym for this is forbearance  (p. 76), and Ryken goes on to write:

“In telling us to exercise patience, the Bible is simply calling us to imitate the character of our God, who is patient both in the sense of being slow to anger and in the sense of waiting for just right time to do something…….Not only is patience one of the essential attributes of God, therefore, but our very salvation depends on it” (p. 77).

Like God has been patient with us, we need to patient with those around us.  Given the day-to-day tasks that can easily frustrate us and tempt us to become impatient, Paul’s reminder to the Corinthians is extremely applicable for all of us today!

Ryken says that a good place to see the patience of love is in the story of Jesus’ raising Lazarus from the dead (John 11:1-44).  Instead of rushing to Bethany to heal his sick friend, Lazarus, Jesus waits a whole two days to make the journey there (v. 6). 

In the meantime, Lazarus dies, and his sisters, Mary and Martha, are grieving (v. 19).  We even see the raw emotion of our Saviour as he weeps (v. 35).  We then see Jesus’ power over death as He commands Lazarus, who had been dead 4 days at that point (v. 39), to come out from the tomb (v. 43-44). What a sight it must have been to those that saw this awesome miracle face-to-face!

Ryken reminds us:

“God is control.  God is at work.  All this true, yet knowing these truths does not mean that we will not suffer.  This is another lesson that John 11 teaches us about patience: love waits through suffering.” 

God uses our sufferings to produce patience and hope (p. 85, see Rom. 5:3-4).  Of course, none of us like to suffer, but the Bible has so much to say about suffering and its role in our lives (more than we can cover in this blog post!). 

When we get impatient, Ryken reminds us to focus on this truth:

“God will make everything come out right in the end.  Jesus is never early and never late but always right on time.  He is not indifferent to the suffering of a fallen world, any more than he was indifferent to Lazarus and his sisters.  In his love, he has a plan to bring all our sufferings to an end.  His great day will come at exactly the right moment.  When it comes, we will see his glory.  Then we will know that he was in control all along, working everything for good, even through suffering, and that there was never any reason for us to be impatient at all” (p. 88).

In the second part of our small group, we discussed Chapter 6, Love’s Full Extent.  “Love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude” (1 Cor. 13:4-5). Ryken writes that lack of love is the root of rude or boastful behavior:

 “Why are we green with envy when someone else gets what we want?  Why is it so important to us for other people to praise our accomplishments? Why are rude to certain people in certain situations?  It is because we love ourselves the most, and because sometimes we hardly love other people at all.”(p. 95)

However, Jesus gives us a great example of selfless love when he washes his disciples feet in John 13:1-17.  Washing others’ feet may seem like an odd thing to do to us, but, in Jesus’ time, foot washing was a common practice. 

A good, polite host would have his servants wash his guests’ feet that were dirty from the road they walked to attend the event (p. 100).   He takes the place of humility and washes the disciples’ feet, even Judas’ feet who would betray him later.  By the power of God’s grace, this is an example we should follow:

“If Jesus has done this for us, then we should do the same for others.  The logical and practical conclusion is what Jesus did and said is that we are called to serve the way the Great One served, and to love the way that he loves.  Here is how Jesus clinched his argument:  ‘Truly, truly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him.  If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them.’ (John 13:16-17)" (p. 101). 

Whether we are at the grocery store or at the gym, may we all see the awesome opportunity to love and serve those around us! 

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Jen Jacobs is married to Sam and has a 1-year-old daughter named Jadyn.  While spending much of her life in the Southwest U.S., she actually has very strong roots in the Chicago area, so you can say that Jen is a big Bears and Whitesox fan!  When she is not spending time with her family and investing in her friends and neighbors, Jen is working as a personal trainer at a local wellness center and through her own business, Jen Jacobs Fitness. 

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We appreciate Jen sharing this week, and now you get the chance to do the same! E-mail twfcrowns@gmail.com with any questions or topics you would like to discuss or write about.  Really, any topic is worth considering for this blog as long as it's a service to our Trinity Wives community.  Please consider using your thoughts and experiences to bless your fellow seminary wives!

A bit of poetic encouragement

The fruit of the Spirit is Love Galatians 3:22

Joy is love exulting and Peace is love at rest,

Patience love enduring in every trial and test;

Gentleness love yielding to all that is not sin;

Goodness, love in actions that flow from Christ within,

Faith is love's eyes opened, the living Christ to see

Meekness, love not fighting but bowed in Calvary.

Temperance, love in harness and under Christ's control 

For Christ is love in person, and love, Christ in the soul.

- author Dr. K.D.Moynagh

Ruth Scharf, TWF faculty wife advisor, passed this poem along after she found it in her mother's bible.  She and her family spent many years as missionaries in East Africa and later moved to the U.K..  Dr. Moynagh also spent time in East Africa and the U.K., as briefly described on the St. John's Church website, and his encouraging poem likely brought comfort to Ruth's mother throughout her entire life. 

Sin deserves no joy. Truth does.

This is the weekly request for writers for Crowns!  We need people's stories about life, love, God, church, friendship, finance, work, travel, marriage, children, infertility, depression, death, hope, fun, and food. Poetry, hymns, prayer, and pictures (related to TEDS and/or TWF) work great as well!  We are a community, and we should share life together, including on Crowns!  E-mail twfcrowns@gmail.com with questions, ideas, or submissions.  Also, contact that e-mail if you are a not a native English speaker and would prefer to share your story verbally.


by Laura Bazal

This week’s lesson focused on the verse from 1 Corinthians 13:6 that says “Love rejoices not in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth.”

Two key points made with this chapter were as follows:

1.       Love does not rejoice at wrongdoing.  It does not take joy in sinning, and it doesn’t take joy in other’s sinfulness. 

There are two angles with which we can look at this concept. 

 There is a part of sinfulness that is very self-centered, where we actually enjoy a certain sin. 

Maybe it’s gossip, where we are fine with discussing others in an excessive and ultimately destructive way.

Maybe it’s lying, where we choose to save our reputation and put on a false persona instead of being honest about our faults. 

Maybe it’s lust, where we queue up anything on Netflix or Hulu that will satisfy our desires. 

 It’s easy, or easier, to see this as sin.  We know that it’s wrong, but even more so, there is little justification for identifying these things as “right.”

 Then there is the rejoicing in wrong doing that is destructive – both to us, and to others.

 This is where our chapter leads us – to Luke 7.  Here we see Jesus at the residence of Simon, the Pharisee.  He has invited Jesus to dine with him so he can find out if he truly is a prophet. 

 They are outside in a n open, courtyard-like setting, accessible to passersby, and here comes a woman who is called a “sinner.”  She is likely of the lower citizens of this community, among the disgraceful and far less than worthy.

 When she comes to Jesus to worship him, she does so in an extravagant and very emotional way.  This makes Simon feel scandalized. 

 He may have been right in feeling upset by the disregard for civility, but what he ultimately displays is a clear satisfaction of the woman’s wrongdoing. 

 Ultimately, Simon is glad that the woman’s sins are happening so that she can be condemn by him.  We see that this joy in another’s destructive nature is exactly the opposite of what Love is.

2.       Love rejoices in the truth.

 Ryken explains that the bible seems to not simply have the view that the truth mentioned here is not only the Gospel, but that it’s “truth in all its forms, which the loving person always embraces.” 

 God is the author of truth, and Jesus displays his joy in the truth by exalting this woman’s faith and the newly forgiven person that she is.  He takes joy in her repentant heart, and He restores her life and her soul.

 It’s very, very easy for us to see people who are doing wrong and to identify that wrongdoing as bad.  Perhaps it’s also easy for us to see others struggling, earnestly trying to get better, and then choosing to condemn them in their struggles instead of considering their situation, loving them like Christ, and encouraging them to always live for Him. 

 We aren’t called to look at wrongdoing and brush it away.  When a person, Christian or otherwise, sins, it is a good and right thing for their sin to be identified as such. 

 What is not good is for others to look at sinfulness and be happy, or thankful, that it’s happening, even if the sin happening is what brings the sinner’s faults to light.  We should be grieved by sin coming from anyone – the Christ-made righteous and man-made unrighteous alike. 

 What we ultimately should hope for, when a person’s sinfulness becomes apparent, is that the sinner repents and knows the truth, the Gospel, the love and grace of Jesus Christ.

 Jesus shows us that Love rejoices in the truth.  We, like him, should seek to restore and pray for the ultimate restoration of all of those around us.  It’s hard for me not to condemn, but it’s also hard for me not to take joy in sinning, too.  Only through Jesus can I both avoid rejoicing in wrongdoing and truly live and take joy in the Truth.

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I'm thankful that I was at small group this week to discuss this lesson collectively, because it caused me to really examine my heart and how I approach sin in my life and in the lives of others. What I discovered was the necessity to examine my heart attitude toward others and test it against Christ's example of love and the perfect balance of righteousness and grace.  I'll never live up to this in my lifetime, but I'm thankful to God that He is making me more like this every day.

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Meet your 2014 Leadership Team - Part 1

Over the next several weeks, we will post the profiles of our leadership team members for this year.  Here are a few to start us off!

Emily Cole

Husband's name: Dan

How long have you been married: 12 years

Do you have any children?: Ashlyn (7), Rhianna (5) & Hamish (3)

Where is home: Sydney, Australia

How long have you been at TEDS & what brought you here:
We've been here one year for Dan to study for a PhD in New Testament. After lots of prayer and reflection, talking with his professors from Moore College in Sydney and the support of our family and church (where Dan was assistant pastor) ,we took the plunge and bought our tickets to Chicago!
 
Information about you - your current/past job(s), education, topics important to you, interests and hobbies, fun facts, etc.:  My current job is looking after our family. Other jobs I've had are medical receptionist, sales assistant in a department store selling shoes and handbags and more recently a physical therapist.

What is your roll on the leadership team?: Coordinator for the Large Group Events

What do you look forward to this year while filling this roll?: I'm looking forward to facilitating large group events twice a semester that combine a warm welcoming experience and fellowship over faithful training and teaching for our current and future roles and responsibilities.

What do you like about TWF?:
If TWF did not exist I firmly believe something very precious and great would be lost here at Trinity. I think sense of connection and community, along with training and equipping for ministry after Trinity would suffer deeply. 

Advice or encouragement to new wives: Come along on the evening of September 29 to the Large Group event and meet Lanese Dockery, the wife of Trinity's new President and hear Dr Con Campbell, an excellent bible teacher, speak on the verses from Hebrews 10 that inspired TWF theme for the year. (Editor's note - if you would like to read about the last Large Group, it was covered at the beginning of this month on the Crowns blog.)

Ann Miller

Husband's name: Kirk

How long have you been married: Two years and nine months

Where is home: Northern Michigan, in a small village called Levering

How long have you been at TEDS & what brought you here: This will be our third year at Trinity. Kirk is getting his MDiv. We hope to work with a church in Milwaukee after kirk graduates. We have been involved with the church for many years and love the people.

Information about you - your current/past job(s), education, topics important to you, interests and hobbies, fun facts, etc.!:
My Job = Customer Service Rep at Uline
Education = Accounting Management Degree at MBU
Hobbies = Reading (especially fiction or mysteries), playing Volleyball, listening to music

What is your roll on the leadership team?: Small Group Coordinator

What do you look forward to this year while filling this roll?: Getting to help support the Small Group Leader who then facilitate support for the small group members.

What do you like about TWF?:
The Bible Studies, for sure. I love coming together with other women to talk about God's Word. I love the fact that TWF leaders are very cautious as to the literature we read in conjunction with the Scriptures so that you know you are not going to be talking or reading a"soft" or "people pleasing" book, but a book that lines up with the Bible.
 I love the support I get from coming together with other Christian women who are in the situation I am in right now.
Getting to share prayer requests and testimonies is awesome as well. I feel like we get to know each other on a deeper level.

Advice or encouragement to new wives:
Join TWF, you will not regret it. Think about it. How far away from home are you? What if you need a friend? What if you need someone to talk to who understands what you are going thru? What if something happens, you need help and you cannot contact your husband? We are here for you.


Olivia Schneider
Husband's name: Bryan Schneider
How long have you been married: 4 yrs

Do you have any children? Names and ages: Nathan (2.5) Deborah (1)
Where is home: Grew up in Ohio but came from Pennsylvania

How long have you been at TEDS & what brought you here (degree, calling, etc.): We have been here 1 year and we came here for Bryan’s M.A. degree in Church History.

Information about you - your current/past job(s), education, topics important to you, interests and hobbies, fun facts, etc.:  I love music, photography, crafts, and baking/cooking

What is your roll on the leadership team?: Mom’s Ministry Coordinator

What do you look forward to this year while filling this roll?: I look forward to the friendships that will be made and hope moms will be encouraged, supported, and blessed by this ministry.

What do you like about TWF?: I love the support/encouragement it brings during this crazy season of life. I also am thankful for the friendships being made now that will last a lifetime.

Advice or encouragement to new wives: Seek out ways to get involved in the Trinity community and establish friendships. Remember, hang in there, keep your eyes focused on Christ, and know that this season is only temporary and goes by so fast so enjoy it!



Michelle Pallansch


Husband's name: Jeff Pallansch

How long have you been married: 4yrs (July 23, 2010)

Where is home: Tacoma,WA; Cheung-ju, South Korea; Atlanta, GA; Caronport, SK, Canada; Sacramento, CA

How long have you been at TEDS & what brought you here (degree, calling, etc.): 1year; Jeff is doing an MDiv.

Information about you - your current/past job(s), education, topics important to you, interests and hobbies, fun facts, etc!: I teach English to people who speak other languages. I love soccer, food, and photography. I love to travel and meet new people.

What is your roll on the leadership team?: I am co-leading the Highwood bible study with Bethany Cayton and I am the special events and cultural events coordinator.

What do you look forward to this year while filling these rolls?: I am looking forward to learning how to lead and encourage other women into a deeper relationship with Christ and growing from their wisdom.
I am also looking forward to encouraging and participating in a rich community of women who are from all over the world and learning from people from a culture different than my own. I love seeing how big our God truly is that he has called people from every nation to worship him. :)

What do you like about TWF?: I love the support and encouragement the women in this group give to each other.


Advice or encouragement to new wives: Be patient with yourself. It always takes longer than we think it will to settle into a new place. Ask for and seek out help when you need it.

Love is not irritable - Thank God for that!

by Laura Bazal

Yet rather than getting irritated with us, He loves us again.

Let's be real here, ladies (and gents, if you were to read this blog today!):

Irritability is a key sin issue that I've been dealing with lately.

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I didn't make it to this week's small group meeting because of some personal reasons, reasons of which pushed the reading of this chapter until later this week.  Did I need to read the whole chapter to feel convicted about this sin issue in my heart?  Oh, no!  The title alone got me to think, and see, that irritability, or the ease with which I get angry, is something I deal with a lot.  The chapter itself got me really examining my heart and areas where I need to repent.  It also made me realize how God's love truly covers me and all of my ugly, irritating sin.

The statements in the book that really got me thinking (and praying!) were as follows:

Irritability is the opposite of charity, or love, as some versions of the Bible exchange charity and love in this chapter. Ryken says "we know this because 1 Cor 13:5 says that 'love is not irritable.'  Irritability is the antithesis of charity.  It is not merely a way of complaining, there fore, but as a way of hating"  (p. 46).

Whoa!  Hating?  I'm not a hateful person!  But when we look at how the disciples, after coming from a long day of ministry, chose a position of irritation rather than charity for those that Jesus was teaching and healing (Mark 6:7-13), their position was definitely the opposite of love. 

Jesus didn't deal with these disciples harshly, which would have been legitimate as they were sinners and He is perfect.  He continued his ministry to the lost both through and despite the disciples hands and hearts.  All 5,000 of the people "ate and were satisfied...So Jesus provided bread for his people.  Rather than getting irritated with the needy crows or his pushy disciples, Jesus gave them manna in the wilderness" (p. 50)

Just like the Israelites who were wandering in the wilderness after they escaped from Egypt, God provided for their physical and, therefore, emotional needs, even when they were completely irritated and in the wrong places with their heart.  God continues to use us despite the issues in our hearts, and He brings the Gospel through us, even though we are sinners!

There is a very practical application here:

Who get's irritable?
                             Everyone.
When is it easy to get irritable?
                             When we are physically weak (the disciples certainly were after a long
                             day of ministry!).
How does irritability treat others? 
                              It wants nothing to do with them.
Irritability chooses to get angry instead of seeking God's help. 

A few final quotes from this chapter that will hopefully bring encouragement from and Glory to God (p.56-58).

Jesus is the living demonstration of non-irritability, which is simply another way of saying that Jesus is love.

This is what Love does (as demonstrated in the chapter's example of Mother Teresa): it moves us toward other people, not away from them, even when their needs are overwhelming. 

From C.S. Lewis: "frictions and frustrations" that we meet in our everyday relationships prove that our own natural love is not enough, that we need something more. 

 This is the way God loves us.  He puts gifts into our hands that we cold never catch for ourselves.  Without realizing what we are doing, sometimes we throw them away.  Yet rather than getting irritated with us, He loves us again.  He gives us the freedom to go love someone else with the same kind of love.  He even gives us the grace to go back to people who throw our love away and love them all over again. 

For an extra bonus this week, the Vernon Hills group shared this with each other, and now, we share it with you: Lay Aside the Weight of Irritability

What does thinking of God's love in this regard teach you about Him, yourself or others?  Please share below!

Share Each Other's Burdens - Pregancy and Infant Loss Awareness

by Melissa Reddin

"I'm pregnant!" 

These are 2 words that pretty much every woman desires to say at some point in their life. We wonder what it must be like to feel a baby move in our belly or how wonderful it must be to see and hear a baby's heartbeat on a sonogram. For many women, their pregnancy was not filled with these happy endings. Instead they never got to feel their baby move in their belly or never heard a heartbeat on a sonogram. 

I have had 4 pregnancies that did not end the way I had in mind. My most recent miscarriage was in June. I was 8 weeks pregnant. These last 3 months have been rough emotionally. Between the past pain that my other miscarriages brings out, and the fresh new pain of this most recent one, I’m worn out emotionally. I’m not in a constant state of emotional distress, but the wave pattern I’m on sends a tidal wave of instability with no warning.

Random things, like shopping for clothes and not having to be in the maternity section or going to the grocery store and not having to buy the extra snacks I needed when I was pregnant, can drown me in grief.

I found out the baby died on a Friday and was scheduled to lead the music at my church the following Sunday. I decided to go ahead and do it because I knew it would be healing for me. Was it hard? Yes. And no one would have thought less of me for not even showing up at church. What an opportunity though to stand in front of my church and choose to praise God anyway. Needless to say I saw many tears flowing as we sang words like, “I may be weak but your Spirit’s strong in me. My flesh may fail but my God you never will!” You better believe I was proclaiming those lyrics with my whole heart!!!

1 in 4 women that get pregnant will experience a miscarriage. Many others will lose a baby in a different way. This means that there are so many women in your life that have endured a loss of some kind.

There are people surrounding us that are going through all kinds of hardships including the loss of a child. So how has God called us to respond?

Galatians 6:2-3 says, "Share each other's burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. If you think you are too important to help someone, you are only fooling yourself. You are not that important.”

I don’t know about you but these verses are incredibly convicting to me. Paul is basically saying that to not be there for one another is disobeying Christ. How do we live out this verse as we seek to consider, love, and encourage one another? Obviously it wouldn't look like giving someone a high five that just told you they lost a family member. Or putting your hand on a friend's shoulder sympathetically while saying, "I am so sorry," right after they told you they got the promotion they wanted. 

And in what ways should we respond to things that are not as obvious or just feel unnatural? Do we avoid it? Should we assume it's better to do nothing than to perhaps offend?

Romans 12:15 says, "Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep.”

Yes, it’s really that simple.

Share their burden.

Here are some great things to you can do to effectively achieve this when someone you know loses a baby:

 

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. This is an opportunity for those that have lost a baby to tell their story. By telling your story you will be a part of breaking the silence to an often overlooked topic in society and the church. 

It’s only once we let others know we’re hurting that they have the opportunity to share our burden. If you have not lost a baby, look for ways you can minister to those that have. Take a look at the above list and keep those 7 thoughts in mind.

October 15th is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. There is an annual international event going on that evening. At 7:00pm you are to light a candle in remembrance of your baby and leave it lit for an hour. If someone from every time zone does this, there will be a continuous wave of light honoring all babies lost for 24 hours. It’s so encouraging to know that millions of others are remembering with you! Even if you have not personally endured a loss, light one for someone who has.

Trinity Wives Fellowship will have a Remembering Our Babies Candle Vigil in April of 2015. The point of these vigils are not to come and burden you with grief. Their purpose is to do exactly what the theme verse (Hebrews 10:23-25) of TWF this year tells us to do. It will be a special time to gather together, consider, love and encourage one another.

I have a ministry called Silent Plea Ministries for those that have endured a loss to find hope and encouragement. I also have a passion for enlightening the public on this topic. If you’d like to learn more about my ministry you can go to my Facebook page and blog.

I love you all and pray that you feel encouraged and challenged to go out and share one another’s burdens.

Grace and Peace,

Melissa Reddin

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Melissa came to Trinity in Fall 2011 with her husband Scott to pursue his MDiv.  She has two boys, Ethan (4, almost 5) and Nathaniel (1, almost 2).  She currently works at Arlington Community Church where she and her family attend, and she has previously worked as a massage therapist and ran her own chocolate-making business.  Since arriving at TEDS, Melissa has been a part of TWF as a small group member, 2012-2013 Vice President, and a provider of delicious chocolate treats at various events. Through Silent Plea Ministries, Melissa hosts candle vigils for communities and churches, and she speaks to raise awareness and remember babies lost.