To Build Windows, Instead of Walls

    This summer I ran across a delightful book on marriage. "Letters to My Daughters: The Art of Being a Wife" was written by Barbara Rainey. The book has a sweet story of its own. On the eve of her marriage to the Raineys' son, Marsha approached her future mother-in-law and asked for advice on being a wife. And so it began. First as a series of letters with her own daughters and daughters-in-law (six in all) and then as this little book, Barbara Rainey has pulled from her life experience to help young married women mature into godly wives.

    The book itself covers a wide range of topics - all the way from bearing with one another's unique habits to intimacy to ways a wife/husband team learn to lead and follow. The letters on a particular topic are all part of a larger metaphor: Marriage is like . . . a work of art . . . a dance . . . tending a garden . . . building a chapel. Rainey moves gently through the varied experience of marriage and pulls you out of your circumstances to focusing on the Lord and allowing Him to work out the beauty of your marriage.

    These letters are filled with personal stories and humorous lessons. They are the type of letters that make you want to think. They challenge you to think of how to be a better wife to your husband. The letters are also full of grace. They invite each one of us to come to the Lord for forgiveness when we fall. To me the most refreshing part of the book is the emphasis Rainey places on diversity. She recognizes that no marriage is a photocopy, but each one is a unique creation. Rainey calls every wife to learn the ways in which she is best suited to help her husband. You'll find no list of what every perfect wife does in this book. Instead, you will be challenged to study your husband and at times ask him what is most encouraging and helpful to him. So if you are looking to build windows and not walls between your souls, I recommend reading through this treasure of a book.

By Sarah Price

Crowns Editor