Advice for the New (or Veteran) Seminary Wife

     This week marks the beginning of my husband's third year in seminary! Lord willing, he will spend many more years in seminary as a student and then as a professor. Last week was incredibly difficult for me as I looked ahead to the start of his doctoral program. I indulged in much sinful self-pitying about the costs for me and our family.

     The difficulties can weigh so heavy in the hearts of us wives. In the difficulties though, we must turn our eyes to Christ and remember why we are here! We want to  see the Gospel lifted high and proclaimed throughout the world!!! I wrote this list for myself, but I hope it can be an encouragement to other new and veteran seminary wives.

     1) Be your husband's helper. Scripture says that Eve was created for Adam, not Adam for Eve. God made you your husband's helper... so help him! Find out what exactly he needs your help with. Maybe it's cooking hot meals, caring for your kids at home, working outside the home, keeping your home clean, proof reading papers...etc. All men are unique. Don't just go by the advice of marriage books and what others say makes the "perfect" wife. Ask your own husband and then pray for the Lord to enable you to do whatever HE needs from you as his helper. Be a helper fit for YOUR husband.

Then the LORD God said, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him." Genesis 2:8 (ESV)

     2) Fight bitterness. When I first came to seminary, I was overwhelmed by how bitter so many of the wives sounded. Several semesters later, I now know this temptation all too well. But it must stop there. We cannot grow complacent to sin, dear sisters. Going to seminary does come with huge financial, emotional, and even physical costs, but it is also such an incredible blessing to sit under quality theological education! Focus on the gift that seminary is, fight bitterness daily, and pray for the Lord to fill you with a truly joyful heart this season.

"Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice." Ephesians 4:31 (ESV)

     3) Schedule Fun. Seminary can be incredibly stressful at times. That's why it's so important to schedule some fun! Maybe it's a family trip to Chuck E Cheese, a movie night in the living room, a picnic at a park, or a full on road trip vacation to somewhere new. Plan for it. Budget for it. Pick a time. Don't fall into the trap of always waiting for this season to pass, enjoy life now!

"I perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live; also that everyone should eat and drink and take pleasure in all his toil - this is God's gift to man." Ecclesiastes 3:12-13 (ESV)

      4) Spend time with older godly women. Outside of daily Bible reading and prayer, this is perhaps one of the most helpful things you can do. Older Christian women in your church can be a huge blessing in giving biblical perspective on your current season of life. We so often want to turn to our peers who are going through the exact same thing as we are, but Scripture is clear that it is the older women who are to train younger women. Humble yourself and ask them for help. I guarantee you will be blessed!

"Older women are likewise to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, and to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind and submissive to their own husbands, that the work of God may not be reviled." Titus 2:3-5 (ESV)

      5) Spend time every day reading the Bible and praying. Nothing is more important in any season of life than this. Scripture is sufficient for all instruction and reproof. It is living and active, transforming your mind, day by day. So run to the Word! When you are having a bad day, run to the Word. When you are having a good day, run to the Word. His grace is sufficient. Run to the Lord Each and every day of your life. Cry out to Him! In Him is the only lasting life and refreshment for the work He has given you to do.

"All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof for correction and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work." II Timothy 3:16-17 (ESV)

by Lexi Zuo

 

Lexi is a sinner saved by grace, wife to Jeremiah, mother to  three little ones, and an avid reader. She blogs regularly at www.MrsSeminary.com.

What Is Trinity Wives Fellowship?

     Hello friends. Yesterday we (Trinity Wives) hosted a dessert night for all the new families now at Trinity and to reconnect with our friends from last year. We played some Olympic games and shared delicious desserts. So I thought today, I'd let you know what Trinity Wives does through out the year. For those of you who were able to come last night, this will be a refresher. For those who weren't able to join us, maybe you'll be able to join us for some thing in the future. We'd love to see you. Thank you for already being a part of the Crowns blog.

     This year we are focusing on Family and to direct our thoughts we've chosen I John 3:1a as our theme verse. "See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called Children of God and that is what we are!"

     For our first Large Group meeting we will be hearing from Jules Cole. She is the wife of Graham Cole, the dean of TEDS. On September 26th in Hinkson Hall, Mrs. Cole will be sharing with us all on "The Challenge of Living as a Child of God." It will be a wonderful evening.

     Mom's Ministry is designed to connect and minister to the moms on campus. In order to do this, Mom's Ministry does a lot! This Saturday (August 27th) there will be a Meet and Greet meeting in Rodine, where you can come and learn more about Mom's Ministry. Some planned activities are the Fall Brunch in October, Play Dates every other Tuesday, Date Nights, Kids on Kampus, and Storytime in the Library.

     Trinity Wives Fellowship also has a welcoming packet filled with useful information from nearby grocery stores to doctor's offices to fun, cheap activities. If you don't have a copy of this, please let us know. We would love for you to get one!

     Small groups are weekly ministry through Trinity Wives Fellowship. We have two off-campus groups in Vernon Hills and Highwood, as well as several on campus groups. Free childcare is available, so if your husband can't watch your kids you can still come! This year we will be working through the book of Titus. Small groups are a wonderful way to make friends and find support through the challenges of being in seminary.

     That's not all! The Clothes Horse is a small store in the Aldeen building near the Alphabet apartments. There are a variety of items from dishes to clothing available to Trinity families. Through the Clothes Horse, we also have a diaper ministry for families with little ones and grocery drop offs.

     This year Trinity Wives Fellowship is also providing two classes, one for wives and one for couples. Preaching for Partners, taught by Greg Scharf, is a wonderful class that trains women to prepare and preach sermons. It has the benefits of understanding what it takes to prepare a sermon as well as being equipped to preach and speak. It meets for three Saturdays through the Fall semester. For couples we are hosting a Money and Marriage seminar. This six week course is designed to help equip couples to discuss their finances together and make wise financial decisions. It will also prepare you to help other couples to obtain these skills.

     If you have any other questions about Trinity Wives Fellowship or want more information about a particular ministry, please email us at twf@tiu.edu. We look forward to hearing from you!

By Sarah Price

Crowns Editor

The True Vine

God is the True Vine - John 15:1

     Vine and vineyard imagery is found in the Old Testament before Jesus calls Himself the True Vine. Within the Old Testament, Israel is likened to a vine, or a vineyard. Jeremiah 2:21 says, "Yet I planted you a choice vine, wholly of pure seed. How then have you turned degenerate and become a wild vine?" And Isaiah 5:1-7 says that Israel was cultivated by God to be His vineyard, a beautiful and pure vineyard. God says He did everything for this vineyard, and yet it bore wild grapes.

     Jesus, however, calls Himself the True Vine in John 15:1-11. Here we find that God, in Jesus is the True Vine, and God the Father is the Vinedresser. Every branch that remains in the True Vine bears fruit, and the branches that do not bear fruit are thrown away by the Father. Unlike Israel, the branches in Jesus are fruitful and continue to bear more and more fruit.

     The Father, as the Vinedresser, has two duties in His vineyard: 1. To take away and burn the branches that are unfruitful, and 2. To prune those that are fruitful.

     So, who are the unfaithful branches? These are the people that may claim to know Jesus but who do not actually bear fruit. This passage makes it clear that a sign of being in the Vine is that the believer would bear fruit. The believer would keep God's commandments and would continue to multiply in fruit. Those who do not bear fruit are not within the Vine and are ultimately destroyed in eternal judgment.

     Those who are fruitful, however, those who do bear fruit, are pruned so that they may bear even more fruit. Pruning is a painful process in which the vinedresser cuts away unnecessary growth and leaves during dormant seasons, cutting the branch back so that the fruit abounds more so. According to "The Modern Farmer", grape vines produce fruit on one-year-old wood, while older wood will produce only leaves and branches, but no fruit. Pruning maximizes the one-year-old wood while also ensuring that all the energy and nutrients are focused on the grapes, so they have enough energy to fully ripen. The Modern Farmer goes on to say, "Left to its own devices, a grapevine grows to a dense mass of mostly older wood with relatively little 'fruiting wood' each year. The dense growth leads to poor air circulation, which encourages fungal diseases. Expect to remove 70 to 90 percent of the previous year's growth each winter." While pruning is painful, a retired greenhouse owner once told me, "In God's kindness and grace, the pruning process happens in winter, when the plant is less likely to be hurt by the pruning." We can know when we're going through dry times, times of pain and pruning - when God takes from us and cuts us back, that  it is a dormant time - expectant of bearing more and more fruit in its due season! How kind it is that the Vinedresser would continue to prune in order that we bear more and more fruit.

     We find also in this passage the great relationship between "I" and "you." Jesus, talking with His disciples here, is coming to the end of His Farewell Discourse, where He is giving His last words to His disciples before His death and resurrection. Jesus says He is the Vine and the disciples are the Branches. He says the disciples must remain in Him, and He must remain in them in order for them to bear fruit. In fact, He says that apart from Him, the disciples can do nothing. So remaining or abiding in Him is a two-way relationship. We abide in Him, in His Word (v 7) and in His love (v 9), and He, in turn, abides in us. This reminds me of Suzanne Kilner's post from June 11th, entitled "Leaders Need a Consistent Devotional Life." How are we doing in abiding through daily prayer, Scripture intake, and communion with God? I know for myself it has ebbed and flowed this summer, but a study of this passage shows that it is vitally necessary for our lives. When we spend more time with Him, and acknowledge Him through His Word, through prayer, through communing with others, we become more like Him. And when that happens, it shapes us and our prayers are answered (v 7). We can ask what we wish when we abide in Him, and it will more likely be in tune with what our Vine wants.

     And what is the point of remaining in Him and bearing fruit? It is twofold. First, verse 8 says, "By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be My disciples." Our fruit brings God glory. And second, verse 11 says, "These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you and your joy may be full." John Piper's summary of Christian Hedonism formulates this well - that "God is more glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him." We abide in Him and in His love and we keep His commandments, just like Jesus abides in the Father and kept the Father's commandments. We abide in Him who has gone before us as the Perfect Vine and has sacrificed Himself so that we can be with Him. He is a living Vine and produces living fruit through us. We must only remain in Him.

By Sarah Smith

Small Group Leader

To Build Windows, Instead of Walls

    This summer I ran across a delightful book on marriage. "Letters to My Daughters: The Art of Being a Wife" was written by Barbara Rainey. The book has a sweet story of its own. On the eve of her marriage to the Raineys' son, Marsha approached her future mother-in-law and asked for advice on being a wife. And so it began. First as a series of letters with her own daughters and daughters-in-law (six in all) and then as this little book, Barbara Rainey has pulled from her life experience to help young married women mature into godly wives.

    The book itself covers a wide range of topics - all the way from bearing with one another's unique habits to intimacy to ways a wife/husband team learn to lead and follow. The letters on a particular topic are all part of a larger metaphor: Marriage is like . . . a work of art . . . a dance . . . tending a garden . . . building a chapel. Rainey moves gently through the varied experience of marriage and pulls you out of your circumstances to focusing on the Lord and allowing Him to work out the beauty of your marriage.

    These letters are filled with personal stories and humorous lessons. They are the type of letters that make you want to think. They challenge you to think of how to be a better wife to your husband. The letters are also full of grace. They invite each one of us to come to the Lord for forgiveness when we fall. To me the most refreshing part of the book is the emphasis Rainey places on diversity. She recognizes that no marriage is a photocopy, but each one is a unique creation. Rainey calls every wife to learn the ways in which she is best suited to help her husband. You'll find no list of what every perfect wife does in this book. Instead, you will be challenged to study your husband and at times ask him what is most encouraging and helpful to him. So if you are looking to build windows and not walls between your souls, I recommend reading through this treasure of a book.

By Sarah Price

Crowns Editor

Immanuel - God With Us

     When we think of the name "Immanuel," the first thing that comes to our mind is often Jesus. But Jesus is never directly called Immanuel. First, we want to look at the passages where Immanuel appears in the Old Testament. Then, we will talk about why Jesus is Immanuel, even though He is never directly called that.

Passages in the Old Testament
     The name of Immanuel appears three times in the Old Testament, all in the same passage. It is in Isaiah 7-8. In each situation where the name appears, God's people face a problem.

     In Isaiah 7 the situation is as follows: the king of Syria, Rezin, and the king of Ephraim (which is the northern part of Israel) come to Judah to start a war against them. Ahaz, the king of Judah was scared to death and so were all the people of Judah. So, God sends Isaiah and his son to Ahaz to tell him that he does not have to fear because of these (as He calls them) "two smoldering stumps of firebrands." And God goes on to say that both kings will soon be shattered. About Ephraim He even says an exact number, namely 65 years.

     And in order to strengthen Ahaz even more, Isaiah tells him to ask a sign from God. Ahaz was not a very godly person, so in false piety he says he does not want to test God. In verse 13 Isaiah replies, "Hear then, O house of David! Is it too little for you to weary men, that you weary my God also? Therefore the Lord Himself will give you a sign. Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel. He shall eat curds and honey when he knows how to refuse the evil and choose the good. For before the boy knows how to refuse the evil and choose the good, the land whose two kings you dread will be deserted." So we see in Isaiah 7 that Immanuel is a sign for Ahaz that God's people will not be shattered, but their enemies will be.

     But, the passage goes on and we learn even more what Immanuel means. In the very next verse (verse 17), God continues to tell Ahaz: "The LORD will bring upon you and upon your people and upon your father's house such days as have not come since the day that Ephraim departed from Judah - the king of Assyria." Assyria was know to be one of the most cruel countries back then. And we ask, "Why? Why does God do this now?" I will skip a few verses and in chapter 8:6 we read, "Because this people has refused the waters of Shiloah that flow gently, and rejoice over Rezin and the son of Remaliah, therefore, behold the Lord is bringing up against them the waters of the River, mighty and many, the king of Assyria and all his glory. And it will rise over all its channels and go over all its banks, and it will sweep on into Judah, it will overflow and pass on, reaching even to the neck and its outspread wing will fill the breadth of your land, O Immanuel." Because Judah and Ahaz are ungodly, God will judge them by sending the Assyrians. And the picture is indeed pretty scary: God judges those who refuse "the waters of Shiloah." But in the end of verse 8 and the following verses we also find a huge comfort.

     First, in verse 8, it says whose land it is. It is Immanuel's land. Still. and it goes on, "Be broken, you peoples, and be shattered; give ear, all you far countries: strap on your armor and be shattered; strap on your armor and be shattered. Take counsel together, but it will come to nothing; speak a word, but it will not stand, for God is with us." We see that other lands might run against God's elect, but God will finally protect the rest and all the nations, running against them, will come to nothing. Why? For "God is with us," which is the meaning of Immanuel. So it is just because of Immanuel that God protects the rest of Judah

Fulfilled in Jesus
      In Matthew we read, "'Joseph, son of David, do not fear to take Mary as your wife, for that which is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins.' All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had spoken by the prophet: 'Behold a virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall call His name Immanuel."

     In Isaiah Immanuel was a sign that God will deliver His people from their enemies. In Isaiah, Judah's problem was Aram, northern Israel and Assyria. But here we read what Immanuel actually does: He will save His people from their sins. This it the main problem for all people.

     "God with us" is on the best promises we receive in the Bible. It is the promise that God renews what has been destroyed by sin, because Jesus bears all judgment. So let's listen to some verses from the very end of the Bible. Revelation 21 talks about what it will be like when God is with us and when God dwells among His people: "Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, the New Jerusalem, coming down out from heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, 'Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be His people, and God Himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.'"

By Elsbeth Tafferner