How Can We Be Biblical Users of Social Media?

     I'd recently been asked to provide a brief discussion for Trinity Wives on how we as Christians can be Biblical users of social media. I've been an avid user of various social media platforms for some years now, and my husband and I have both been blogging for around five years. He blogs on theological issues, current events in Biblical perspective, and a variety of book reviews; and I blog on makeup, hair, skincare, and I love doing red carpet reviews. We sort of run the gamut topic-wise, but it goes to show the broad spectrum of things covered in social media. It reaches into each and every area of our lives.

     Before we move forward, let's get a couple definitions down. Social media is defined as "websites and application that enable users to create and share content or to participate in social networking." So, what's involved in this? It's Facebook, it's Twitter, it's Instagram, it's WhatsApp, it's YouTube, it's SnapChat, it's Pintrest. The main thing to remember is that the lifeblood of social media involved user-generated (so, you and me) content like texts or photos.

     Now, not every one of you are necessarily using every form of social media. Some of you may be using only one form, and the most common platform in the Trinity community from what I see is Facebook. I'm sorry I'm operating under the assumption that you all generally know what I'm talking about, but if you're totally unaware or uninvolved with social media then you can just bookmark this discussion and keep it in your mind's archives. And if you aren't involved with it at all, don't read me as encouraging you to be. I tend to say if it's not a part of your life, don't worry about making it so. It's simply less opportunity for temptation as we'll see in a bit.

     So, for the sake of this conversation let's consider social media as a gift, not unlike money or sex or family or beauty. Social media is a gift and a privilege given to us by our God, because everything is His, and He's placed it within our hands to be good stewards (users!) of it. However, because we're fallen humans, we tend to do a really excellent job making bad use of good gifts. We often struggle with making idols out of these good gifts that God has given us. We have a tendency to worship the created rather than the Creator. You see with every good gift we're given, there are opportunities and good uses for it within the framework of Biblical wisdom. However, there are temptations that come with it as well. Let's first look at some of the great opportunities we have with social media, and then we'll look at the temptations that come with it. And finally, I'll offer a couple tips, or more just questions to ask ourselves as we navigate how to be Biblical users of social media in general.


Opportunities

      Connecting - How many of you are here from another location whether within the U.S. or another country and you use social media to keep in touch? So many of us do! We can stay connected with friends and family through small but meaningful and consistent ways thanks to social media. My own mother-in-law, who is from Honduras, has been able to keep up ongoing conversations with her cousins back home thanks to WhatsApp. I'm able to see that daily goings-on of my friends' babies thanks to SnapChat. My dad, a social media skeptic, even commented on how blessed he was by all the birthday wishes he receive from friends of all circles thanks to Facebook. We're able to communicate, connect, and stay in touch with family and friends, especially those far away, in ways that were never available to us years ago.

     Sharing - How many of you have learned how to do something brand new through social media, like a recipe on Pintrest or one of those little Tasty videos through BuzzFeed? Or how many of you have read a really insightful and encouraging parenting article, or learned about news happening across the globe because someone shared it? It's incredible what we're able to share with each other through social media platforms. We're also able to build critical awareness about important causes and movements. As a Christian, it's been both heartbreaking and challenging to see news about the tumult occurring in countries like Turkey and Pakistan that might otherwise go unnoticed without social media. I believe awareness of such things is good, especially when it can prompt us to prayer and redemptive action.

     Creating - Social media has provided me with some of my most creative and inspired moments. I've loved using Pintrest to organize and better understand my personal taste in fashion and art. Instagram can provide an excellent creative outlet for those who love the visual arts and enjoy dabbling in photography. Unknown, everyday folks with great talents in music suddenly have the ability to share their music with us through YouTube. As someone who loves makeup, I've loved being able to see what others use and how they use it as inspiration for my own work. Social media can inspire great creativity, and it can be really fun!


Temptations - Let's now look at some of the temptations that can come with a social media presence.

     Comparison - I don't know how many times I've compared "my life" to "her life" just by looking at photos, or where acquaintances are checking in and the things I see they're doing. I compare looks, possessions, life stages, family, you name it. If you can share it, you can compare it. However, we're told in Proverbs that "A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot." Envy and comparison are ultimately signs of ungratefulness to the Lord. We know it is good for us to praise Him and thank Him for what He has given us, and all that is to say nothing of the fact that social media often involves a veiled, filtered, partial look into someone's life. Additionally, we need to ask ourselves if we're prompting others to comparison. We need to be sure we're praising our husbands or celebrating our children and their accomplishments in humility.

     Unnecessary anxiety - Is it good for us to be aware of current news that's happening around the globe? Yes, I would say it's a fine thing. Would I say it's good for us to hear everyone's hot take on that news, and hear everyone's opinion on that news? No, I'd say not. It's important to know that we do not need to hear everyone's opinion on everything, for not everyone's opinion is righteous or of any good use! Paul tells us to cast our anxieties on Christ, and it can be difficult to do so when we're listening to do many voices shouting at us online, proclaiming doom and destruction. Anxiety can do a great job at keeping the Holy Spirit from being the loudest and most primary voice in your life, and social media can be a huge proponent of that.

     Addiction - We do know that, as is the case with many of God's gifts, we as humans are prone to twisting these gifts and becoming addicted to them. Addiction is defined as the fact or condition of being addicted to a particular thing, substance, or activity. If you are constantly checking your apps, if you are seeming glued to them and unable to take time apart from social media and are constantly glued to it, even during times you know you probably shouldn't be (i.e. your spouse is asking you not to, your child is trying to get your attention), you might be dealing with addiction. Know that it can also greatly affect your health. Studies have shown that heavy users of social media are more likely to suffer from sleep disorders and depression.

     Lack of wisdom in what we way and post - This is the trickiest one of all. We as Christians and particularly as leaders within church ministry are called to a higher standard when it comes to what we say. It's just the reality of things for us. One thing I've noticed about social media is that it can cause us to be much less thoughtful communicators, and less critical thinkers. We believe everything we see and hear, and feel the need to react to it. We jump on every bandwagon hashtag and display visceral anger at unconfirmed or incomplete news stories released seconds ago. Think of social media as a wave machine that is constantly pulsing out waves, and constantly prompting you to ride the ripples of those waves. We are literally tossed about back and forth by every wave and blown about by every wind that comes across us, and it deeply affects the way we interact with others.

     James, however, tells us that we are to be slow to speak, quick to listen, and slow to anger. We must prayerfully and carefully consider our words before we choose to post a tweet, post an update, or react to someone else's words. Even words that we see as a joke need to be carefully considered. social media poses the temptation to be impulsive with what we say, to be the first one to put out a "hot take" on the latest even, or to even speak on something when I believe there are times when the Holy Spirit is calling us to be silent, be still, and maybe not say anything at all. Proverbs tell us that whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper displays folly. There is freedom in the fact that we don't need to have an opinion on everything, and knowing that not everyone's opinion matters. In fact, the belief that we are entitled to a public reaction or word on everything is, in fact, unbiblical and un-Christlike.


Tips  - With these things in mind, here are a couple questions to be asking ourselves or things to be doing to keep ourselves in check as Christians navigating through social media.

     Can you do without it?  - Can you put your phone aside for a day or two, or delete any apps, even temporarily, that are causing you anxiety and comparison problems? Be a consistent self-evaluator and seek God's wisdom on these things.

      Have a cut-off time and a Sabbath.  - Remember that self-care is a form of worship and honoring the Lord. Take a day each week to Sabbath from social media, and have a cut-off time each night at least an hour before you go to bet. It's also not good to wake up to social media; I'd suggest waiting at least an hour after you get up before checking any apps. It's healthiest if your waking and sleeping moments belong to the Lord.

     Always be asking yourself why you're posting what you post before you post it! - Is what you're posting self-seeking, or an attempt for attention that should be fulfilled by God's love for you and your husband's affirmation of you? If you're posting something about your child (i.e. a frustrated mama moment), is is something that might hurt them if they were to see it in the future when perhaps they join Facebook or Instagram? And remember - we in ministry have a greater obligation. We are to be beacons of the Gospel first and foremost. This does not mean that all you should do is post Chris Tomlin song lyrics or articles from Christianity Today. I really, truly don't think that God cares whether or not you love sharing cat videos. Have fun with social media; it's a gift!

     However, I believe we most importantly need to be asking ourselves if what we're posting is something that might negatively affect you and your husband's present or future ministry endeavors. Titus tells us that we are to be ornaments of the Gospel, making it attractive to others. This means being conscious of our words, our pictures, and our online presence in general for the sake of ministry. For instance, it's fun to tease and be silly with my husband online, but I do know I have to be careful and consider that what I say to him is not read as disrespectful. Remember, not everyone hears a joke the way you do, and tone online is different than tone in real time. And various churches and seminaries that might hire your husband won't only be checking his profiles; they'll be checking yours!

     Read Proverbs! - If you want a play-by-play on how a fool speaks and acts, read Proverbs. The words of King Solomon tell us exactly what not to do as users of social media, and just how detrimental foolish behavior really is in our own lives and those we impact. However, Proverbs also provide converse instructions for the righteous. Consider Proverbs as your "Users 101" guide to social media. And if I could add one thing to King Solomon's wise words, it would be to never read the comments section!


      Considering all these things, let's commit to consistently turning over our social media selves to God. Who we are online is not separate from the rest of our being; every part of us belongs to Him. And be encouraged that we have great opportunities with social media for the Kingdom and our own personal joy. Be an encouragement to others with it. Share helpful words. Connect with friends. Create and share beautiful, thoughtful things with it. Have fun, and have boundaries. Be honest, yet wise. Know that we've been given a gift. Use and enjoy social media in wisdom and thankfulness, ultimately seeking His Kingdom first as we do in everything.

By McKenna Rishmawy

TWF Small Group Leader

Tomorrow's Dirt

     During my undergrad studies, I was wandering through the shelves of my school's library looking for a new book to read. I was scanning the biographies when a ran across a little book. To be honest I cannot remember the title or who the book was about, but I'll never forget one story the author shared. The biography was of a woman missionary. During her stay with the missions organization for orientation she was given the task of cleaning the restrooms. To this lady cleaning restrooms seemed like an unimportant task, but she still did as she was asked. One day she had just finished cleaning one of the stalls and begun another when one of her directors came in and used the restroom. As the director turned to leave, she sighed and went back to redo her task. The director stopped her and told her "That's tomorrow's dirt." She went on to explain to this new missionary recruit that in life there is always another thing that we could be doing, but trying to do everything all the time would leave a missionary exhausted and empty.

     The phrase "that's tomorrow's dirt" has stuck with me ever since. The director was right. In life nothing is ever finished. There's always one more shelf to be dusted, one more load of laundry to be done, one more coffee mug sitting on the table. But sometimes we need to say "that's tomorrow's dirt." Sometimes we need to look at the socks littering the floor, and say "they'll keep, but right now I have something else I need to do with my time." Maybe it's a long day and the kids are finally in bed and you need to sit down, read a book, and refresh your mind and soul. The socks will be there, but the moment may be gone. Maybe you have dishes in the sink, but your husband just came home from class and has something exciting he wants to share with you. Take the time to talk together. Dishes can wait.

     We live in a fast-paced world of perfection. Instagram makes our friends' houses seem spotless. Facebook shows us how our kids would be so much healthier if we made all our food from scratch with fresh ingredients from the farmer's market. God says "Be still and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10). Now there is nothing wrong with a clean house or healthy food, but if we pursue these things and miss that God wants us to rest in Him, we will come up dry and empty. Perfection brings weariness. God gives grace. One way we learn to accept God's grace is by giving up our plan to be perfect. When we say "that's tomorrow's dirt," we learn to live in today's grace. When we are willing to let things not be perfect, we open our eyes to the things that God has put in our life that have more eternal impact. So my sisters, when you are exhausted, take the time to rest. From a heart at rest we can best hear the still small voice of God.

By Sarah Price

Crowns Editor

Elohim

     The name Elohim simply means God. But is this name really so easily defined? Let us take a closer look and see.

     The name Elohim occurs over 2,000 times in the Bible and could possibly be the most used name of God. In earlier posts, we have been studying the different names of God: God the provider, God the creator, and many more. These posts have helped to show different aspects of God's character through the different names given to Him. So what can the name Elohim tell us about God, other than meaning simply God?

     To be honest with you, I had a very hard time finding something to share for the name Elohim. What could I possibly tell you about this name with such a general meaning? As I continued to study this name, I kept thinking to myself, "Why, Shyan, did you chose this name?!" As I continued to ponder the name Elohim, I really stared to wrestle with what it truly means to know God and all that He is. I think sometimes we can fall into a trap of defining and giving value to God based on the contexts in which we have come to know Him. Sometimes in different seasons of life, we really start to know one facet of God as healer,  or provider, or our refuge, and so on, and we forget that God is all of these at once.

     One example I can think of personally is in my prayer life. I have found that while I am in prayer, I have tried to appeal to the different facets of God based on what I might need from Him at that time or  an aspect of my life where I can fully trust God; but I forget that He is sovereign over all parts of my life. I am not trying to say that understanding other names of God or calling on a specific name of God isn't important, but I hope to convey to you that all those names of God make Him who He is to us and that sometimes just calling on the name of God is enough.

     The name Elohim is the name of God. Just like your name means all of you, with all your different characteristics. All aspects of God can be described in this name, Elohim.

     There are so many aspects to this name, that for me, I am still trying to wrap my head around it all. But let me conclude with what have become the important aspects of the name Elohim to me.

     1.     In the first chapter of Genesis, we see the aspect of Elohim as creator. Everything that exists in this world was the act of a sovereign, loving, and knowable God. He existed before and is independent of the world. He knows all that He has created, and we can rest knowing that we were made perfect by Him.

     2.    Through Job, we can see that God gives endurance to those who are faithful to Him. We can trust in God through our trials in life knowing that He who created us will sustain us.

     3.   Isaiah 42:5 says "This is what God the Lord says - the Creator of the heavens, who stretches them out, who spreads out the earth with all that springs from it, who gives breath to its people and life to those who walk on it." Through this verse we are reminded that God is the source of all life. Nothing exists in this world without Him knowing. He is over all, and we can continue to rest in that truth.

By Shyan Xiong

Vernon Hills Small Group Co-Leader

Jehovah Meginnah

     When do you feel vulnerable or afraid? Is it at night? Are you afraid of the future, afraid of circumstances, afraid of particular people or things or situations? Afraid of being tempted to compromise? Can you remember being terrified in your life? There are many causes of feeling afraid and vulnerable. Today we are going to ponder the name Jehovah Meginnah: God my defense, my shield. When we gaze at God we see, as it were, a beautiful diamond with many facets. We will look at one facet of Him in relation to all His other attributes. We will see that shield means more than a metal or animal hide implement giving only partial covering. God is a living active, responsive, incomprehensibly comprehensive shield. God our shield can be traced from Abram through David to Christ.

     There are 41 times shield is used in relation to God and we will briefly look at 3. We will spend most of our time is Psalm 18. We will find that God our shield, Jehovah Meginnah, is our protector, defender and provider. God actively delivers us. He provides protection and provides us with all that we need to contend with whatever foe we encounter, from with and without. First of all, we will look at Genesis 15. God Himself reveals Himself as Jehovah Meginnah to Abram. It is not a feeling or an inference but a revelation from God Himself. Second, we will look at a victory song of King David where David describes God as my shield, my defense, the One who rescues and is a refuge. This song is found in two places: 2 Samuel 22 and Psalm 18. And lastly, we will look at Ephesians 6 and the protection God provides for us today.

     Let us look at the setting of Genesis 15 before we look at the use of Jehovah Meginnah found here. Abram has defeated four Midianite kings and rescued his nephew Lot. He has given all the bounty from these war exploits to Melchidezek. We can infer that is it night from the text since God takes him out to look at the stars. Abram is probably concerned about reprisals from the Midianites, and he is still childless. Abram is afraid and worried.

     God begins by addressing Abram's fear and tells him not to be afraid. And the reason Abram doesn't need to fear? That is the revelation that God will be Abram's shield and very great reward. God will be Abram's defender, protector, and provider. A relationship with God Himself is the highest reward. Look at verse 6. Abram "believed the Lord, and He counted it to him as righteousness."

     In this short paragraph God reveals Himself as a shield and promises that He will actively protect and provide for Abram. God assures Abram that He will keep His covenant to bless all the nations of the earth through him, through a son from him and no other. Abram can be confident in God. Abram is confident and his belief is counted as righteousness. As we peek through the salvation timeline, we see our righteousness and shield comes through the promised seed, Christ. Jehovah Meginnah is our righteousness.

     The second use of Jehovah Meginnah that we are going to look at is in a thanksgiving song of King David's. This song is recorded twice. Once in 2 Samuel 22 as David sings to God, and the second time the entire song is in the psalter. This psalm is a victory song after many big wins. Wins are something to celebrate! We know a little bit of what is it is like. Chicago has been celebrating a unique victory of one of their baseball teams after not winning the pennant for 108 years. Celebrations include THE BIG "W" paraphernalia bought and displayed by many fans, the Cubs huge celebratory parade, and many parties. There was much self-congratulation.

     David's song is so different. It is exuberant, enthusiastic, ecstatic praise of God. It gives vivid descriptions of God and of his own intense, life threatening battles. The heading which introduces Psalm 18, the setting for this song of praise, is the same as the opening verse of 2 Samuel 22. Through this introduction, we learn the timing of the psalm. David probably sung this as it is recorded in 2 Samuel 22 after he had defeated the enemies of Israel and was delivered from Saul and established as king of Israel. It is an earlier psalm, coming at the beginning and not the end of his reign. Psalm 18, this same song, is taken up and included in the psalter, and sung by the whole nation of Israel. It is a Messianic psalm that looks forward to the inclusion of the nations. David will describe God as his shield, Jehovah Meginnah, and recount many experiences of protection and deliverance.

     Reflect for a moment on David's life up to this point. He was chased by Saul, who was intent on killing him. David despaired of life and was discouraged as he hid from Saul in a cave. He celebrates that he has been delivered from Saul and also delivered from the temptation to kill Saul. He engaged in many battles fighting the enemies of Israel and faced temptations. Some he describes and alludes to many other situations. This song is a relational, personal psalm. It is a psalm characterized by personal pronouns: You, I, and my. David recounts his cries, his prayers, and his pleas to God, but the focus of this psalm is God. David describes all that he has learned about God and leads us to look forward to the forever King.

     David opens with a passionate declaration of love and vivid enthusiastic praise, "I love you, O Lord." The word for love that is used denotes that love experienced and reciprocated by a mother and child, one of experiencing compassionate care. Jehovah Meginnah is not an in animate unfeeling shield, He is One who cares and loves. Jehovah Meginnah, our defense, is a safe and secure place. He is my rock, fortress, and stronghold. These are descriptions taken from David's own setting of the dessert rocky land forms in Israel and describe God's protection. They are the passive provisions of God. But God our shield is more that passive. God is active. Look at these provisions: my strength, my deliverer, my shield, my horn of salvation. "Horn of salvation," in verse 2, theologically refers to God's vertical, powerful intervention. Verse 3 summarized David's experiences. He calls out to the Lord. God answers and David is saved. But notice how God-centric David is? In the middle of this sentence is God, who is worthy to be praised.

     Verses 4-6 are a dramatic recounting of dire, life threatening events and God's response. In verse 4-5 we see Death staring David in the face. David response by crying out to God in prayer. Through out his life, David has built the practice of responding to fear with prayer. God actively hears and listens to cries for help. David says "My cry reached His ears," showing that God always hears.

     Then we are given a look behind the scenes. David recounts God's holy, righteous response. Look at the anger of God and His willingness to intervene. The poetry is vivid, dramatic, and includes many references to Moses and the Red Sea, Mount Sinai, and the book of Job. We see God in action as David recounts his experience of God's loving rescue. Again note how God centered this is. He reached from on high, which emphasizes the relational aspect of God's response. This is no impersonal dispatching of mechanical assistance. This Jehovah Maginnah, our shield and our defense, coming to David's aid. In the face of strong enemies and the earth reeling and rocking, the Lord is David's support.

     Finally let us look at Christ as our protection, shield, and armor. Christ took the full expression of God's wrath on the cross so that He could give us His righteousness. The shield of God is Christ, our righteousness. For those who believe, we are now clothed and covered by the blood of Christ, and when we come before our King and Judge at the end of time, we will be robed in white, Christ's covering for His chosen people.

     In the closing portion of Paul's letter to the Ephesians, he urges them in Ephesians 6:10, "Finally be strong in the Lord, and in the strength of His might. Put on the whole armor of God." In the list of armor we are to put on is the shield. "In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one." Jehovah Meginnah is our shield, our righteousness, our very great reward. He does not leave us weak and defenseless but lovingly gives us protection and provides us with all that we need.

     I asked you at the beginning, what you are afraid of: circumstances, people, situations, temptations. Do you feel that you are facing a strong enemy, calamity, or are surrounded by many waters? Are you worn down by the mini battles of daily life? Are you feeling vulnerable? I want us to listen, join in this psalm of adoration and lift what is weighing us down to our Jehovah Meginnah.

by Ruth Scharf

Trinity Wives Felloship

Faculty Wife Advisor

Seven Important Questions

Editorial Note

     For  the last two weeks in small groups we have been discussing intimacy, focusing on sexual intimacy. Since intimacy with your spouse is more than just sex, Suzanne provided us with some helpful questions to build intimacy with your spouse.

Still Dating After All These Years

     Married at the mid-point of John's M.Div. studies, we heard many great tips about building a strong foundation in our marriage. We heard frequently that good communication is essential to a good marriage. But with our busy lives, how do we nurture that communication? Seven simple but profound questions have been the key to keeping our romance and our friendship fresh for forty years. These seven questions are ones we will ask on a regular basis:

     1. How is your/our relationship with the Lord going?

     2. How is your/our service or ministry going?

     3. How is your job/professional life?

     4. How are we doing with our finances?

     5. How is our physical/sexual relationship going?

     6. How is your/our social life, should we be doing more or less with family/friends?

     7. How are the children doing? ...and is there anything else you wanted to talk about?

     We learned by experience that good communication was not only being transparent with your own thoughts and feelings, but also sensing when your spouse was receptive. Sometimes issues have to wait a few days because it is exam (or grading!) week, your spouse is sick, or they are distracted with their own challenges. Since early in our marriage we have set aside one block of time a month to really listen to one another and discuss our lives using these questions as our guide.

As a Young Couple

      Before children, I worked full time and John was a full time student. We would choose a Sunday afternoon and mark it on our calendars. We would go to separate rooms, agree not to answer the phone, and spend an hour or two with the Lord thinking and praying about each of the questions.

     When we were finished with our time with the Lord, John would ask me how my relationship with the Lord was going. When I was finished talking about myself, I would ask him the same question. Then it my turn to pick a question. We were free to pick and choose the order of the questions by what was most important to us that day, although we would always ask each other about our relationship with the Lord first, because when the relationship with God isn't going well, other areas of life usually aren't going well either!

     Spending time alone with the Lord first has always been essential for us. After the time with God, we are both humble, receptive, wiling to listen to our spouse, and want the Lord's will above our own. In practical terms, we are therefore each willing to change our minds on the issues where we differ because we want God's will for our marriage and lives.

     This pattern early on established an essential habit of being yielded to the Lord before we discuss those personal issues. It motivated us to make every effort to resolve our differences, or at least to genuinely understand the other person's point of view.

With Young Children

      After our first child, I worked half time and John worked full time teaching in seminary. On the chosen Sunday of the month, we spent time with the Lord while the baby napped, but usually didn't finish talking through all seven questions before she awoke. Sometimes I fell asleep if I'd been up late with the baby! It often took much of Sunday evening to finish our conversation. We looked forward to that one Sunday a month focusing exclusively on each other and on our baby.

     After the second child, nap times were constantly changing and became too unpredictable, so we tried different variations. The best arrangement was to first each spend an hour alone with the Lord while the other watched the children. In the late afternoon we would exchange childcare with a friend or pay a young teen to stay with the children for an hour or two and either go for a walk or go sit in the car and talk.

With Older Children

      As the children outgrew naps, we switched to a weekend evening. A table for two in the corner of a restaurant is ideal. We each tried to spend extra time with the Lord that morning. Then we go our to dinner at a not too popular restaurant - one without people standing in line waiting for our table - so we can linger over coffee. We talk through all the issues except sex. I am too afraid of someone at the next table listening in! So we save that topic for some quiet moments at home once the children are asleep (or while we were still out!)

Other Variations

      During transition years when finances were tight, I rented a favorite video or the children, fed them ahead of time, and made a candlelight dinner at home. There were always interruptions, so when finances allowed, we would go for a walk to to a restaurant to better give each other our undivided attention.

After 40 Years

      Each of us is continually growing and changing - we never know each other completely. We still need to talk together regularly and give each other our undivided attention. It is important to me to listen to John and support him whatever he is going through. After our conversations, I feel so loved because he wants to listen to me and know how my life is going.

     After the first six months, as we were getting to know each other better through the questions, we found a pattern emerged. Usually only two of the questions would require in depth discussion. The other areas were generally going fine and our answers would be brief.

     In actual practice, when life gets so overwhelmingly busy that we miss a monthly time together, we sense our need to catch up with each other. During times of great change or transition, such as having children, moving, buying a house, changing jobs, having surgery, one or both of us experience increased stress. It is more important that ever to keep our monthly dates and keep current with each other.

     This month we plan to go out to dinner while our son is at an activity - I'm really looking forward to it. I have many things to tell him.

By Suzanne Kilner

TWF Faculty Wife Advisor

My Father's Passing

     I was able to spend the last four days of his life with my father, Edson Fast. What I wanted to share with all of you was the amazing way our amazing God was in the details of these four days. It became obvious that the experimental chemo was not working, and Dad, at the age of 81, was not strong enough for another option. We requested that a nurse from palliative/hospice care speak with us. She was amazing and walked Dad through the history of his illness. I held his hand and he said, "Actually, I'm ready." And then as only our good Lord can do, when I mentioned that Dad was a minister of the Gospel, the nurse asked, "What seminary did you go to?" The story spilled out that Dad had gone to Trinity - back when Trinity was still located in Chicago. She shared that her husband had gone to Trinity in the 80's and that he now pastors a church in Toledo. Her son is taking online classes through Trinity.

     Then, there was joy as we reminisced about Dad's various ministries in New England. We sang a song that I used to sing as a young girl when we traveled as a part of a "Chalk Talk." As Dad drew a picture on a large canvas depicting a Biblical scene, Mom played the piano, the siblings played their instruments, and I scrambled to stand on a folding chair next to Dad at the pulpit. "I will sing of the mercies of the Lord forever..."

     Thank you for letting me share this with you. May God continue to use us and Trinity for His  glory.

By Kristen Johnson

Faculty Wife