1 Corinthians 13 - Week 2 - Love that is Better than Life

By Laura Bazal

This weeks’ chapter had us start focusing various parts of what Love does.  On Monday, we talked about the statement “Love is Kind.”  Here are a few take-aways from what we read: 

• Each one of these statements in 1 Corinthians 13 is about love does, not what love is. While we see descriptions based on our use of English grammar, in the Greek, the phrasing is actually explaining verb-actions.  Love, as Paul describes it, acts in kindness.  Ryken tells us that “love is an action, not an affection.”

• Kindness is something that we are all familiar with.  The word “kind” actually refers to a relationship between two people who have similar characteristics.  The phrase “in kind” also reflects similarity (i.e. “The teacher treated his students with respect, and they treated him in kind.”).  From that positive connotation comes the meaning of kindness as friendly, considerate, and generous; or, as it was originally known, loving and affectionate.  Despite having this robust familiarity that anyone from any culture would have, the kindness of God is not one that we can naturally perform with our own heart and actions.

•  Titus 3:4-7 was one of the key parts of scripture used to highlight what God’s kindness has done for us:

⁴ But when the kindness and the love of God our Savior toward man appeared, ⁵ not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us, through the washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy Spirit, ⁶ whom He poured out on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Savior, ⁷ that having been justified by His grace we should become heirs according to the hope of eternal life.

This chapter is titled “Love that is Better than Life.”  It’s inspired by the KJV reading of Ps. 63:3, which reads “Thy lovingkindness is better than life,” which attempts to express the Old Testament idea of steadfastness and covenant love and express it in the English language (37).  The greatest expression of kindness, therefore, is through the love and mercy that was shown when Christ died a sinner’s death for our sakes.  Ryken describes this kind of love as saving, merciful, life-changing, and generous (38-39).

We were left with an exhortation to live out this kindness.  C.S. Lewis is quoted, saying that God enables us “to love what is not naturally lovable.”  We were then directed toward the story of the Good Samaritan, we see a man who shows love and mercy on one of his enemies who has been beaten and left for dead on the side of the road.  He meets his every need and ensures that he is cared for as he continues to heal. 

What a picture of what Christ’s lovingkindness does for us – meeting us where we need him most, showing us mercy in our incredibly low state, and giving us the Holy Spirit as an ever-present source of help and strength!  It’s such an inspiration to show God’s kindness to others, being that he has shown that love time and again to us!

How has God shown you kindness?  

When has it been hard, or easy, when you've needed to show kindness and mercy?  

What does this show you about the nature of God?  

Share your thoughts below!

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Would you like to share your thoughts on the chapters from this book?  Have a story to share, thoughts about God, tips for seminary wives, or something else you'd like to contribute?  Contact us at TWFCrowns@gmail.com and let us know!
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I wanted to jump right back into the plane and go back home!

By Lily Joeliani

I thought Deerfield was a small town, like small towns in Indonesia. Two lane streets, small houses, walkable distances to market, doctors, schools, everywhere. Plenty of public transportation. Food stalls and door-to-door vendors. Abundance of motorcycles (hey, they save gas and money!).

I was wrong. Big time.

It came as a shock as soon as we’re out of the O’Hare airport. I stared in disbelief as I watched streets as wide as soccer fields from the car’s window. Large distances looms between buildings. No public transportation within sight (the planes are the only exception!). No food stalls. Not even grocery stores. No motorcycles. This is no small town, according to an Indonesian’s standard!

Arriving on an extremely hot week, plus heavy jet lag and PMS in tow, was not helping at all. Not to mention that we had to move 3 times within ten days. I totally and completely freaked out. I wanted to jump right back into the plane and go back home!

The International Student Services Office (ISSO) informed us that when we would arrive to this new country, we would experience some sort of honeymoon phase, realization phase, denial/angry phase, and then settling down phase. To me, it was a short realization phase, then straight into denial/angry phase. No honeymoon whatsoever. Sigh.

Let me explain. Before we came to the USA from the opposite of the globe, we poured through maps, info after info, facts after facts. Thousands of e-mails were written to and fro with the ISSO and Trinity Chinese Fellowship. We knew that [our family] could not stay on campus because there were only 4 units of 3 bedrooms apartment and all were occupied.

So we had to look for off-campus housing. We contacted the realtor, and we looked at the area mapping and decided in which area we wanted to live. We arrived almost a month early, thinking of settling everything before the school began. We knew we couldn’t and didn’t have to bring everything from home, because there was the Clothes Horse and the Furniture Room. We thought we were ready for this new “adventure."

However, maps cannot really portray how a place really looks like, even with Google Earth. You can only see parts and pieces, not the whole picture. So it was a nasty shock to find that this
“small town” is so different from what I had in mind.

And it hadn’t occurred to us that we really can’t rely on public transportation in this area: the Pace buses are simply too slow and don’t cover all locations, and the taxis are simply too expensive for our budget. Living off-campus without our own transportation and a very limited budget? A sure recipe for disaster and depression. Even if we had a car, we needed to learn how to drive on the opposite side of the road (we used to drive on the left side). How are we going to survive?

Plus, living off-campus meant we needed to transfer all our bills (gas, electricity, and internet) to our names. All of that required a social security number, which was not be available to us until the orientation began. And everything had to be settled by phone. For us who were still unable to converse fluently in English, that demanded extra effort. It was not fun having to say everything over and over, and in the end had to spell out almost everything.

HOWEVER,
GOD IS GOOD,
AND FAITHFUL,
AND HE PROVIDED.

Immediately after arriving, we were taken care of by numerous group of people. A PhD student from Ivory Coast, whom we had never met before, picked us up from the airport. The Trinity Chinese Fellowship took over from him once we arrived on campus. They invited us over for dinner (although I was still too dazed to eat well), settled us temporarily into one student’s apartment (they were on holiday), took us to the bank, to the mobile phone provider, to the grocery store, and to church. The realtor, who was a very nice and helpful man, showed our prospective home, and we immediately fell in love with it. He even helped settling down transfers of our utility bills.

A neighbor from the next building of our initial stay on campus invited us to dinner on the 3rd day and introduced us to a fellow InterVarsity staff worker from Europe, who was a Trinity student at the time. He was the one who reminded (and comforted) me, while I was clearly in a distressed state of mind. He looked straight to my eyes and said, “God brought you here not to abandon you.” BAM!!!

This student taught my husband to drive on the right side of the road, with the steering wheel on the left side of the car. Patiently he explained all road regulations that might be different from our country's traffic laws.

The Trinity Chinese Fellowship helped us find different student apartments to stay in while we’re still finishing our rental arrangement, and they saved some useful and basic household items from the Clothes Horse for us, too. They helped us move and lugged our findings from the Furniture Room and all. (Have I told you? They are unbelievably terrific! We can’t thank them enough.)

And God provided car after car after car. Yep. Someone lend us his car for one day, then someone else for a week, and yet another couples lent us their second car for an indefinite time until we get our own car. And last, but definitely not least, somebody we didn’t know, from a Chinese church, decided he didn’t need his extra car, and we can have it for FREE. The car is still in a very good condition. I still can’t believe it!

And the list of people that God used to look after us goes on. And on. And on.

GOD BROUGHT US HERE NOT TO ABANDON US.
Let that sink in.

This coming new school year brought all these memories fresh to me, and I can’t help praising Him for His faithfulness, His providence, His love, and for who He is.

New students and new families will be coming to Trinity. I remember last year,  when I had to say the same words of comfort to some of our new wives arriving from faraway places. I related my own story to them, letting them know that they’re not alone.

We all can do the same. Why don’t we tell our stories to one another? Comfort and strengthen each other? Who can understand what we had gone through than fellow student wives? Let’s show that God does not abandon us. We are not alone.

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Lily Joeliani is married to her husband, Sutrisna Harjanto, who is studying for his PhD in Educational Studies.  She has a daughter named Laura, who is in high school, and a son name Alex, who is in middle school.  Lily served TWF last year as a welcoming committee coordinator and has been part of an on-campus small group for three years.  She currently volunteers at the Clothes Horse, is willing to hold anyone's baby, and works at Heinen's grocery store and translating literature from English to Indonesian.

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Would you like to share a story, article, creative/expressive work, or recipe on the TWF Crowns blog? Email us at twfcrowns@gmail.com. Do you have questions about TWF, Mom's Ministry, or Bible Study? Email us at twf@tiu.edu.

Delicious Avocado Desserts - from Lily Joeliani

AVOCADO DESSERTS

In Indonesia, we do not put avocados in dishes, salad, condiments, etc. We only use avocados in desserts. I know you’re probably wincing like I did when I saw avocado in salad or sushi. It might need some getting-used-to, but let me tell you this: These recipes have never failed to generate some “WOW” response from first-time taster.

And they’re perfect for summer or the warm days that welcome early fall.

Simple Avocado Punch (for 2 people)

1 small avocado, pitted

2 T condensed milk

½ C chilled hot cocoa or sweet latte or mocha

Crushed ice cubes

1. Scrape avocado with a teaspoon.

2. Pour 1 T of condensed milk and 1 T of cocoa/latte/mocha into a tall tumbler. Top with scraped avocado and crushed ice cubes. Serve.

Avocado-Young Coconut-Jackfruit Punch (for 8-10 people)

(a.k.a. Es Teler or Drunken Dessert Punch)

4 small avocado, pitted, and scraped

1 pack of shredded young coconut, retain the juice

1 can of ripe jackfruit, retain the sugar water

½ can of condensed milk

Crushed ice cubes

Mix all ingredients and serve.

Note: This dessert is very popular in Indonesia and it was named “Es Teler” or Drunken Dessert Punch because it’s so good, it makes people drunk with pleasure.

Avocado Smoothie (for 2)

Same ingredients with Simple Avocado Punch. Pour all ingredients in a blender and process until smooth. Serve.

Avocado Sherbet

4 small avocado, pitted and scraped

1 cup hot cocoa or sweet latte or mocha, frozen in ice cubes mold

1 cup cold milk

4 T confectionery sugar

Pour all ingredients in a blender and process until smooth. Pour into air-tight container, make sure it’s only 2/3 full, and freeze. Serve.

ENJOY!

1 Corinthians 13 - Week 1

TWF small groups will be studying through the book "Loving the Way Jesus Loves" by Phil Ryken.  He helps us examine the love chapter of the bible, 1 Corinthians 13, as a way to recognize how Jesus loved others and how we can follow in his example.  Check this video to learn more about the book and the author's intent with it. 

Each week we will hear from a specific small group member who has studied the chapter and reflected on what God has taught her over the following days.  Whether or not you are in a small group this semester, you are welcomed to join in the conversation on Fridays to reflect on what God has taught you from the week's specific passage.


1 Corinthians 13 - Week 1
by Laura Bazal

No matter what God has given us

and no matter what we have done for God, 

it means nothing 

without 

love.

This week we read about the overall message of 1 Corinthians 13 - what we have, what we do, and who we are - it's all nothing without love. Ryken illustrates this specifically by referring to Jesus' conversation with the rich young ruler in Mark 10.  He points out that this man had done everything right according to the law, and he saw that as merit for inheriting eternal life.  Jesus heard this, loved him, pointed out the thing he lacked, and instructed him to sell all his possessions, giving it to the poor, and following Him.

We know what comes next - the rich young ruler is dismayed and walks away with sadness.  Was Jesus calling him to give up much?  He called him to give up everything that he found security in - his wealth and possessions - to inherit eternal life.  Why did he have to give up these things?  Because the young man loved those things rather than loving Jesus, and he would follow, or chase, after those things than chasing after God.

It's easy for conversation about serving the poor to come out of a study about this passage, and it forced my friends and I to look at ourselves and our own generosity.  Seminary couples and families are not typically rich.  It costs a lot of time, money, and comfort to enter into this season, and many sacrifices, money included, are often made.  Yet if we make these sacrifices without love, it doesn't matter.

1 Corinthians 13:1-3 NIV
If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. ² If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. ³ And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.

 Ryken describes in this chapter the following: "Understand that when Paul gives us this list of things that are nothing without love, he is really including all of our spiritual gives and so-called accomplishments.  No matter what God has given us and no matter what we have done for God, it means nothing without love (23)."  

Whatever it is - giving to the poor, speaking God's truth, serving those in need - is ultimately nothing without love. However, we are able to bless others in incredible ways if we do have love, and this is totally possible with Christ (2 Corinthians 5:14-15).  


What are you compelled to give or give up to love others more?  Is it your money, your time, your insecurities, your gifts, your words? 

How do you view the book of Corinthians, and how have you seen it used in the past? 

Thanks for reading, and share in the comments below!

Welcome to the Crowns Blog - Fall 2014

Crowns is a key component to the TWF mission, because it allows wives to have access to the equipping and fellowship that’s found at small and large group meetings, regardless of whether or not they can attend.

Where does this equipping and fellowship come from? It comes from you!  

 

Yes, each and every one of you has a story or a message that can bring encouragement and blessing to the whole Trinity Wives community.  

Whether you are new to Trinity or you’ve been here for years,

whether you and your husband have a clear ministry focus or you are still seeking God’s direction,

whether you have spoken English your whole life or you just are learning it,

we want to hear from you, 

because your story is important!

What’s on your mind?  What’s on your heart?  We love to hear from every woman’s perspective. 

Crowns Topics in the past have included

• marriage (naturally!),
• culture shock,
• date night ideas,
• recipes,
• finances,
• infertility and grief,
• reviews of bible studies,
• interviews with speakers and professors,
• and fun ideas for couples and families. 

Really, just about any topic works for Crowns!

Contact twfcrowns@gmail.com if you would like to contribute.  

Everyone has a story worth sharing, and that includes you!

YIKES - Part 2

by Tricia Dunton

WHAT CAN I DO?

I’m wrestling with the feeling of being such a small drop in the giant ocean of problems. Trying to figure out: what can I do? How do I make any difference in larger issues? In my previous post I talked about human trafficking and I struggle to think how a mom of two young boys, living in Chicago, with a husband in seminary, can really do anything about something so huge. I’m totally powerless so maybe I just don’t try at all. This is where God showed me the verse from Haggai that just called me out and smacked me in the face. So, what can I do to help rebuild the Lord’s house? And again, I often come up short.

My in-laws have always had a verse hanging above their fireplace where most people put the pictures of their families. It’s the most central place in the house and you absolutely cannot be in their house without seeing it. I absolutely cannot be in their house without being convicted by it. It reads, “If My people who are called by My name humble themselves and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land” (2 Chron 7:14).

There is nothing more powerful that we can do than to pray. Fervently pray. Humbly pray. But is this where I end up when I feel most powerless? Not usually. I don’t automatically rely on prayer—not true prayer. I rely on prayer when I’m getting a little short with my toddler or I sneak it in when I want a really good parking spot at Target but I’m not falling on my face, heart breaking, humbly coming before the Lord of the universe asking Him to use me. And if I’m not, then what does that say I believe about him? Do I believe who He says He is?

Prayer almost always precedes change. Good change, God-lead change, bold changes are most definitely preceded by prayer. But do we pray dangerously and boldly? Are we asking God for big enough things that our own faith is being stretched? Do our prayers and our requests line up with the big God we say we believe in? Because our prayers will tell us what we truly believe about Him. Do we even really pray?

I mean REALLY pray. I know plenty of non-believers that when they need something, make the deposit into the request box and send a quick little prayer up to “whomever is up there.” Do my prayers look and sound drastically different from theirs? Or could they be confused? Do I put God in a box that my understanding has created? Because the God of the Bible definitely does not exist in that box.

Prayer is the place where our relationship with the Lord grows. It’s how our relationships with our husbands, kids, friends, family, anyone really grows—communication. Our closeness to God grows deeper as we pray. We learn about Him, His ways, His purposes, His character through prayer. We experience Him in prayer. We can only subsist outside of prayer for so long before the chasm starts to grow. And it can grow so deep that He starts to look really, really far away. And then we are left at the point of helplessness—not sure where or how we contribute.

So you may feel like you don’t know where or how you can be furthering the kingdom from your current station in life and I'm here to say that you can further it from the ground up, through prayer. You are not helpless in the face of these larger issues. As a Christian, you have the gateway to the only One who can help. Let’s start using that.

If My people who are called by My name humble themselves and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land.

YIKES - Part 1

by Tricia Dunton

As we have been reading Ruth this semester, there have been a few things that stick out for me that have been pretty convicting. Ruth decides to essentially leave everything she knows because she is so moved by Naomi and her connection with her. She sheds her identity as a Moabite, leaves her hometown to go somewhere that she KNOWS people will not like her very much and life is going to be incredibly hard. Ruth willingly walks right into that.

And I can’t help but feel the Spirit asking me, “Are you so moved? Have you left your identity in a world where you know people will not like you? Have you shed your old self? I mean really, truly, sloughed off your identity because Christ has so moved you?” If I am honest with myself, sometimes I don’t know if I can answer a resounding “Of course! You move me Lord! I don’t care about any of that old stuff, stuff of this world. I will give it all up! Not. A. Problem” Too often my answer is a little more like “sure thing. I know that’s how I feel. In my head, I know that’s the Christian response but let’s not turn this into some big thing. I can take your identity but I don’t think that I REALLY have to be hated by the world right?” Reading Ruth makes this response seem, well, lets just say: YIKES!

So if I am to truly be moved, what does that look like in my life? Where are the places that the Lord is stirring in my heart? Our book author, Carolyn Custis James (CCJ to me because, lets be honest, if you’re going to feel convicted you always want it to be from a buddy), talks about the character of Naomi bringing to light the disparity among people. And she says, “The issue at hand is not whether the local welfare system is inadequate, but what God’s people will do with their advantages, power, and resources.” Another YIKES moment. What am I doing with the advantages and resources I have been given? CCJ goes on to, more or less, pose the question “will we hoard our blessings or open our hearts and hands to others?” Being confronted with the widow, Naomi, asks us just this. God calls us to protect the widows, orphans, and sojourners. How am I doing this in my life? Where is God calling me to be open handed or hearted?

Often I am completely overwhelmed trying to think about how in the world I can help any of these groups of disadvantaged people. We read this chapter right around the time of the Super Bowl and there were so many ads leading up to it about human trafficking. Those ads always get me fired up but that fire fizzles as the problem seems so big and out of reach that nothing I could do would actually make any difference. So I become complacent and just tend to my own life and try to keep things in order for those I am already close to. I think Jen Hatmaker described it on her Facebook page as “blessing the blessed.” It’s just so much easier.

Then God lead me to Haggai 1:9b “my house lies in ruins…while all of you busies himself with his own house.” And YIKES again. I am 100% guilty of busying myself with my own house while God’s house, His people, lay in ruins. I just start living for me, same old identity, nothing new. CJJ told a story about Eloise who, in the midst of her deteriorating health, at the end of her life, caught herself complaining and reminds herself, “I’m forgetting God is here. I’m not living for his purpose.”

Aaaaaand YIKES again.

Have I really been so moved? Am I open hearted and open handed with the blessings the Lord has given me? Am I tending to his house, which lays in ruin? Did I forget God is here? Am I living for his purpose?

Too often I am ashamed of the real answers to those questions. There is only one way for that change to take root: PRAYER.

More to come…