I've realized recently that I am passionate about hedges. Not the ones in my yard, but the ones that surround my marriage. Dave and I have high and thick hedges. It may seem prudish to others that we won't be alone in the car with the opposite sex, or eat alone, or close the door for a meeting, or that we are very conscious about what types of movies or tv shows we watch. But our marriage is worth more to us than what others think. We did not come to this agreement completely on our own, we were prompted to discuss these boundaries and keep them in place. As we focus on marriage this year, I feel this is an important topic to bring up. Have you and your husband developed hedges around your marriage?
In 1 Timothy 3:2, Paul outlines the qualification for the overseers and deacons of the church. Among the qualifications is "faithful to his wife." Do we just gloss over that as if it is expected? Or do we do everything in our power to make sure that happens?
Have you known or heard of a pastor or professor fall in this area and have an affair or get divorced? What about a pastor in the public eye? With divorce rates growing, and the internet being easy access to inappropriate relationships and pornography, we need hedges more than ever. The fact is, this world does not make it easy for us or our men. In the book, Hedges, Jerry B. Jenkins states in his introduction, "As much as people don't like to hear, read, or talk about it, the fact is that most Christian men do not have victory over lust." He goes on to say, "Scripture does not imply that we ever shall have victory over lust the way we are expected to win over worry or greed or malice. Rather, Paul instructs Timothy, and thus us, not to conquer or stand and fight, or pray about or resolve, but to flee lust." Flee from lust! We need to run from it like crazy!
It may not be the man or woman you know today that is the problem, but when the one that is attractive comes along, the hedges are their to protect you and your husband. The fact is, by the time we think we need the hedges, its too late.
If you feel that you are your husband need to have this conversation, but aren't quite sure where to start, I recommend the book Hedges by Jerry B. Jenkins. It is an easy read with discussion questions at the end of the book. It is well worth the $10! This book highly influenced how Dave and I protect our marriage.
Not everyone's hedges are the same. Comment below what some of the hedges you have in place in your marriage to help our fellow wives!
Would you like to talk more about my story and hedges? Email me at jaymamosher@gmail.com.
Would you like to share a story, article, or recipe on the TWF Crowns blog? Email us at twfcrowns@gmail.com. Do you have questions about TWF, Mom's Ministry, or Bible Study? Email us at twf@tiu.edu.
